I went travelling in India with my two friends L & E once. One day, we were sitting in Jaipur when an Indian chap came over to chat to us. He seemed friendly enough, until he uttered the words:
“I can tell that these are not your brothers.”
“Oh,” I said, “Why is that?”
“Because they are thin, and you are obese.”
Charming. Say it like it is, why don’t you? Or, in fact, say it like it isn’t, because while I’m no supermodel, I’m not fat at the best of times, and following several bouts of severe D&V in India, I wasn’t even at my fattest.
But try telling that to the boys, who ever after made as many references as they could to my supersize nature, including the nickname that I’ve never quite managed to shake off, ‘the one who blocks out the sun.’
Given these nicknames, my current living situation is somewhat ironic. Flatmate who Bears a Grudge (FBAG) has de-friended me on facebook and has not been speaking to me for FOUR WEEKS. Because she refuses to speak to me, I don’t actually know the reasons for this, but I’m told that it’s because I am accused of sitting in the same room as the other flatmates while they called her fat. This is not only ironic because I have been repeatedly called a fatty by my friends over the course of about 8 years. It is also ironic because:
- She is very clearly not fat.
- I never heard them call her fat.
- They say that they never did so.
- In fact, the only person who claims she overheard this conversation (and therefore the only person who should be held accountable for actually addressing the problem, if there was one) is the only person that FBAG is still speaking to.
The fact that she is not speaking to me is quite an achievement as every single morning, we get up at the same time and I wish her ‘Good Morning’ – no response. On leaving the house, I say ‘Have a good day’ – no response. When I get home, I say ‘hello’ – you’ve guessed it. In fact, the only time in the past week that she’s acknowledged my existence was when she smashed some crockery and I got the dustpan and brush out to help her; she SHOUTED at me to leave her alone.
The funny thing is that apart from her total lack of manners towards me over the past 4 weeks, I’ve got nothing against the girl. So I shall continue to say ‘Good Morning’ to her, and hopefully one of these mornings as we’re standing in awkward silence in front of the mirror getting ready, she’ll look at her reflection and realise that she’s not fat and that life is just that bit more pleasant if you smile and communicate with the people around you…